Friday, June 25, 2010

Motherhood Myths

<- Melissa was born with Angelina Jolie lips :)

A couple of childless friends of mine have asked, "please give me the dirt. I don't want to hear motherhood is all flowers and rainbows. Tell me the horrible and gory things, so I can decide if I really want this/prepare myself psychologically."

So here it goes. Don't say I didn't warn you if I burst your bubble of perfect motherhood dream forever. It will all work out in the end, I promise.

Myth #1- Motherhood Instincs Come Instantly. The first couple of days after Melissa was born I was such a mess that I had no idea how to hold her, much less why she was crying. And she would cry A LOT (though my mom says she was an easy baby, so I don't know what I'll do when I have a normal one :). I couldn't believe they would give me, a bleeding, recovering person a small human and expect me to know what to do with her. But I am happy to report that it did get better everyday.

Myth #2- You'll Be Either Depressed or Overjoyed. You'll find quickly in motherhood that there isn't 8 or 80. There isn't the perfectly behaved baby, neither the impossible to care for. And just as much, if you don't get post partum depression, don't expect to be jumping out of joy either. First because you'll barely be able to sit, let alone jump. And second because this is a transition - and every transition takes time for adjustment, even if it's an awesome one.

Myth #3- Delivery is The Worst Part. You probably already read all the terrorizing pregnancy books about how having a baby will be the end of you. Of course they don't say it on those terms, but that's what you read. So I won't go into the gory details (I know, I said I would, but I don't have the heart). I just mean to say that pushing a baby out will not be the worst thing that will happen to you. This is to give you hope, not terror - meaning it all sounds much worse than it actually is.

Myth #4- The World Will Stop For You To Have a Baby. Like on our wedding day (for the married ones), you expect the birds will sing, stars will align and everyone will love each other when you become a mom. But life goes on as it usually does, so don't get offended or disappointed if the guy from the drive-thru isn't even nice to you, completely ignoring the fact that you just had a baby and food is the only thing that gives you comfort.

Myth #5- You'll Turn Into Mary Poppins (Or You'd Better). I'm sorry to say that giving birth does not improve your organization skills. Neither does it make you gifted with children or a homemaker extraordinaire. But don't worry - your child won't know any better. And he/she will want you, not some preconceived notion of what a mother should be.

7 comments:

Meaghan, MS, CSCS said...

Had a baby less than 8 months ago. i can relate. Found you at Lady Bloggers Society. I hope you enjoy my blogs http://dailydoseoffitness.blogspot.com and http://bellorel.wordpress.com
And if you need any baby apparel please visit my store at http://www.bellorelbaby.com

Kimberly Farmer said...

I like your "Myth #3: Delivery is the Worst Part". On tv and in movies, we see the mother yelling her head off and looking like she is about to explode. Thankfully, for the typical labor and delivery, the mother is "in the zone", definitely working hard, and looking forward to the moment her little one enters the world. It's rewarding, actually, to know that your body knew what to do, did it, and you made it through!

Anne Prado said...

@ Meaghan - visited your blogs, cool to see that our babies are the same age!

@ Kim - isn't it true?? I think I screamed more after the baby was born than while I was having her haha. Miss u!

Lady said...

I'm pregnant with my first and finally venturing into the blog world. I've been strictly on ivillage and babycenter since I found the plus sign. Your myths are interesting. Thanks!

Cameron said...

Oh my gosh I love this post! I really do think that some people hold back on the not so fun parts of being a new mom. I wasn't anticipating the baby blues & the completely lost feeling I had as to how to best meet her needs! But it does get better & now we are 6 months in & I feel like I've learned SO much in such a short period. I really do feel like now nobody knows better than me & my husband what she wants or needs. But that first part is so hard & reading something like this would've really prepared me for it much better!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!! I'm a new follower of yours now, too!!

daniella said...

Yes, yes, and YES! All very true and real. Sigh.

Mungee's Ma said...

So true, all of these! But Myth #5 especially! Even if your child doesn't know the difference, your husband will though ... oops! Oh well!

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