My leg are shaky, and my hands are sore from icing those cupcakes, but I have, indeed, survived. Now I'm going though post party depression - you know, when you think of all the things you could've done, but didn't. Like sitting down to actually enjoy the party. It was a lot of fun to share this milestone with friends that have become like family, but I just wish I wasn't too exhausted to have a productive conversation with them. It was like a wedding; an amazingly meaningful moment, that went by in a blur.
I just published this post with several post party depression thoughts, but now that I've rested a tiny bit, I think I have a different outlook. Truth is, party went GREAT. The cupcakes turned out delicious, and I felt very Betty Crocker-y making them. I know I could've bought some, but I wanted that feeling. This was my way of celebrating my baby's birthday. True, it left me broken at the end of the day (now), but the reason I wouldn't give up on it was because I loved doing it. I wanted to have this experience to the fullest, and I did. Hence my utter exhaustion.
Whenever something means so much to me, I always have post whatever depression. I always feel like I didn't do it completely right. There's always something I could've done different, or more, or less. Does any mom out there feels that way? Whenever people post about their babies' first birthday, it always sounds like everything went perfectly, and the mom feels perfect afterwards. So if there are any imperfect moms out there, please manifest yourself so I don't think I'm crazy.
ps: Amber, thanks for tagging me, yay - will do it on next post!