Sunday, October 24, 2010

The Cool Mom Project

<-Enjoying some cool weather (pre-highlights :)

I want to be a cool mom. I don't mean a "hip" mom (though that wouldn't be bad either), but a cool headed mom. A mom that, even when the world is falling apart, is a safe rock.

I want my kid to see me as a place where she can cry, and I'll comfort her, not freak out. Someone that can give her advice without adding worries, but taking them away. I want her to feel like I'll calm her enough so she can make the right decisions, and not add more pressure. Of course I'll want to push her in the right direction, but I don't want her to feel like I'm a walking lecture. In other words, I want to be a place where she can cool off.

A book called The Parent You Want to Be by Les and Leslie Parrott says that "who you are matters more than what you do". They mean that though the things you do as a parent are very important, even more crucial than that is the way your child perceives you. Do they see you as a happy/sad parent? Stressed out? Workaholic? Yeller? Or maybe passive?

Watching Melissa imitate nearly EVERYTHING I do (within her baby capabilities) has opened my eyes to this. I notice a change in her when I'm stressed out. I also noticed it when I'm more laid-back. She watches me, and learns from me about how to live life. And I don't know about you, but I want my daughter to be cool.


Greta: From Transparencies of Motherhood said...

Great post. So true. Just wait...once she's using 2+ word sentences you will really have to watch how you act, what you do, what you say. My 3 1/2 year old is very quick to tell me when I'm responding too loudly or "angrily." And then I see him repeat the same actions to his little brother. ugh. Your post is exactly what I've been trying to work on...being a "cool" mom

Krystyn said...

So very true...actions are good, but how they perceive us is way more important!

Anne Prado said...

Thanks guy for letting me know I'm not the only one! I think every mom must feel this way, but in the exhaustion we can lose our "cool" over so little. But judging from your blogs, seems like you all are doing a great job!!

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