<- I think my stork got lost.
I have my doubts sometimes. Silly, I know - I mean, I saw the baby on the ultrasound, so I know for a fact there's a live human being in me. But there's something about getting so pumped up about being in labor, and then when you realize you weren't, it's hard to keep your hopes up. Which brings you to denial that the baby will actually come one day.
This last week and a half or so I've been feeling like there's no way I can be pregnant one more day, and then I am. Really, every morning I wake up with the impression that if he goes any lower, he'll come out. But another evening comes and I'm in shock NOTHING has happened. Not even the confusing on and off contractions I had a few days ago. Sometimes they'd last for as long as 2 HOURS, and then disappear as if they were a figment of my imagination. I mean, wasn't I supposed to be sure it's the real thing if they last for an hour?? So you see how now I've become a skeptic.
Which is totally ridiculous of me, considering I'm 39 weeks and the doctor said she won't let me go over 41, meaning I only have 2 more weeks at the most to go. AND my mom's arriving from Brazil this coming Thursday, so if I really look around me, things are happening. Today the angel of my mother in law came over and helped me tidy up the place (take out the Christmas tree and prepare space for mom to sleep in). This has REALLY helped, not only with the tasks themselves, but also for me psychologically. Seeing our home ready for the baby reminds me that no, I'm not waiting in vain. The baby WILL come out.
It just seems so surreal to me still. The concept of having another child, that I'll bond with the same way I have with Melissa. This blows my mind. To know that another little person will give me this much joy (and pain :). I mean, how do you get enough heart to store up this much love (and pain lol)? The anticipation of it all (including that detail called labor) can drive you crazy.
Next post will most likely be about Andrew OUT of me, as my brain fries more and more the longer I wait. So pray it'll be soon!!