Sunday, May 30, 2010

Didn't I Feed You Yesterday?

After a whole day marathon with our babies, we wake up the next day as she cries AGAIN and think, "Didn't I work this hard yesterday? Today is a Saturday, AND a holiday, AND I have a cold. Shouldn't I be allowed a day off?"

Um, no. Our babies are little persons, in urgent need of our love and attention. And while nothing could be more adorable, our brains can eventually fry. Even when we're having fun, we can burn out.

This book "Didn't I Feed You Yesterday?" by Laura Bennett (a designer from Project Runway) doesn't talk about that specifically - though it might, I don't know, I hadn't read the whole book yet :). But the first pages that I flipped through were about how the loads of information we have today on parenting can actually turn us into maniacally depressed moms instead of helping us. Maybe she didn't say it in those terms (I added the "maniacally" for effect), but I liked her frankness about how overwhelmed moms can be.

HOWEVER, this is a book not to be taken too seriously (at least from what I could tell so far). I love books that shouldn't be taken seriously :). Though they must have a point somewhere, or else I think I'd get bored. And her point seemed to be that you shouldn't stress out too much about the "right" way to parent - since you're a different person than the next mom, you'll find your own way. Of course there are basics absoluts (like, um, feeding the baby), but whenever I follow my maternal instincs more than how-to-books, Melissa always seems a lot happier.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Stuff Moms Like

This list is inspired by Jonathan Acuff's book, "Stuff Christians Like" - I laughed out loud so much reading it that I decided to create the mommy version:

#1- Comparing Ourselves to Other Mommies
I have plenty of mommy friends, as well as 2 mommy sisters, and they all look like better fit mommies than me. Oh boy, they all look better fit than me period. I'd like to believe they think the same about me, but that's hard to imagine. The point is that, with our tendency to compare, we always end up feeling worse about ourselves, or better than someone. We even compare labor/pregnancy horror stories, as if whoever suffered the most, wins. Welcome to motherhood :).

#2- Buying Baby Stuff
After you have a baby (or as soon as you know you'll have one), buying stuff for her/him becomes instantly more exciting than stuff for yourself. It shows you have great style AND are the best mom ever. I'll go to a store with the sole purpose of getting something I've wanted for a long time, then leave with a bunch of baby clothes, and nothing for me. I feel the same shopping rush I used to get buying earrings and blouses, maybe even higher. Especially if it's pink and/or plays music.

#3- Planning Baby's 1st Birthday Waaaay In Advance
I think that right after we get married (or for the unmarried ones, maybe right after the baby shower), there is a hole in our hearts waiting to be filled with another party. Maybe we get addicted to milestones, and the excitement that comes with it. That's why I already decided that Melissa's (now 7 months old) birthday party will have a theme (probably bee, because that's what her name means in greek). We'll have ice cream cake (because I craved ice cream while pregnant), dress her up in a bee costume and let her eat honey for the first time, because at 1 she finally can. Not that I'd thought about it much, like since the day she was born.

#4- Looking at the Baby While Talking to Others
This is a sin I tried not to commit, without success. I've always hated when I tried talking to a mom and she only had eyes for her kid. I'd ask them a question and they'd answer me in a baby voice, or ignore it completely. I promised myself I would not be that mom. And I try my best, but sometimes I realize someone approached me, talked to me and left, and I didn't even know how they looked like. I'M SORRY whoever it was if you read this. But in my defense, my brain was probably too fried to talk anyway.

#5- Creating Silly Distractions Like This List - Or This Blog
Oh the scapes my mind likes to create to take a break from the baby. And I always end up doing something baby related anyway. Like when I go to the bookstore, and my awesome husband takes her to the kids seccion, and I should be reading some fashion magazine. They all seem so shallow and out of reality now. Sometimes I force myself to grab some, but I just want to slap those women in the pictures or laugh about their self-absorbed lives. But not because I envy them. Mostly because my life is so full now that I wouldn't trade it for the glossiest lifestyle in the world. As much as I do need some gloss.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

A Different Kind of Bored

Hi everybody,

Please don't misunderstand the name of this blog; I'm NOT saying that moms have NORMAL boredom. Normal boredom, as we used to know, is pretty much dead. As in, wondering what purpose your life/day has. My days now have been full of purpose, and it's amazing to have the responsability to raise a gorgeous little girl. It must sound scary to a childless person, like it was to me, but it is really a magical experience. All the cheesy comercials are true :).

But the kind of boredom I'm talking about is when, as much as you're in love with your child, you feel like you NEED to fill your mind with something else. To recharge your batteries, and remind yourself that you're still a person, and not just someone's mom/wife. So as the baby naps, you watch tv, surf the net and hope that this refreshment will come instantly, only it doesn't. You're supposed to be having you time, but your brain is fried by the new decibels that your baby just reached with her shrieks. And not just by the tough stuff. Her cuteness and amazingness can also keep your brain from functioning to anything other than said cuteness and amazingness. It's a vicious cicle, you know.

The childless/pregnant people reading this must be freaking out, thinking, "I don't want to lose my sense of identity!" Well, you do. At least you lose sight of who you were, and meet the new you. It's kinda scary at first, but then you get used to the new mommy you. And with time, you become really good friends :). I like the new mommy me, though I wish she'd lose a few pounds and worried less. But she's far more confident than I ever dreamed of being.

So this is where I'm at. Melissa will be 7 months the day after tomorrow and I can't believe how time flew. It almost feel normal now. Almost.