For any of you that might think my motherhood experience is all rosy-colored, judging by how adorable my daughter is, I'm here to disclose a dark side known only by few. I don't even think anybody knows it to the extent that my poor husband does, and that's just because he experiences it in full.
No, I'm not talking about mood swings (though of course I've had those too, but I promise I don't torture him, much). I'm talking about what hubby and I have nicknamed "the gas attacks". And I'm not talking about farts either (how dare you think such things of dainty me! :). I'm talking about a horrible, horrible, desperately horrible feeling whenever I eat any more than my stomach can, you know, stomach.
Ever since the pregnancy, it seems like it has a high sensitivity to fullness - too much of it, I mean. You know when it's lunch/dinner time, and you're already kinda full for whatever reason, but you eat anyway because your significant other does? Before the pregnancy, I could give myself that luxury, but now, it's a REALLY, REALLY BAD IDEA. I'm not talking about just a stomach ache, you people. I'm talking about utter pain, with epilesy like movements (but voluntary, of course, in a desperate attempt to stop the pain somehow).
It's totally comparable to labor pain. I actually think I'd rather be in labor than go through this, because at least there's a baby in the end, instead of just plain, dumb gas. So I wiggle myself, screaming or whispering of pain (in a very scary way for my poor husband), until the gas is finally burped out and I can breathe again. It's disheartening to see the helpless look in his face.
Tonight, I had one right in front of Wallgreens, and I could see him turning every color as people passed by. When we got home, I went to take a hot shower (frequently the only remedy), while he went to give Melissa her last feeding. Problem: she still doesn't take formula much, and there was no breastmilk available. I took my shower, got better (after AWHILE), then actually enjoyed having a few moments to myself very much. After I was done, he was still putting her to sleep, and then he got out of her room looking like he just went through war. Poor thing - I get to go relax and he has to go deal with the aftermath of my gas problems. Seriously, I have the most wonderful husband in the world.
So marry right, people - just good looks won't get you this, it's gotta be a true sensitive and caring person to have your back like this (literally - his back massages saved me at Wallgreens!). And childless people, don't freak out thinking this will happen to your stomach if you have a baby; I've never, ever heard of this before. It's just because it's me - and because I have such a amazing husband who can handle it.