I'm in between personalities right now. I used to be a faithful reader of Glamour (the only magazine I could find for 20-somethings that doesn't presume we're perverts), even had a subscription for awhile. Then, I became a mom, and suddenly articles about how to better party with your girlfriends seemed kinda unrealistic to me. I still have fun with my girlfriends, don't get me wrong - we just talk more about our babies' poop than about what's "in" on fashion these days.
So there I went, in search for a magazine that better suited my new point of view... "Parents" comes close, but fails for 2 reasons; one, it talks more about dealing with older kids, and not so much about babies (though you can still find some good info); and two, it's just about parenthood. Which is great and necessary and well put together and all, but most of the time, when I want to read a magazine, I want to remember who I am besides a parent. I want to think of lip gloss. Of my daily questionings of what to do with my life as a woman. Of some celebrity I'm curious about (and how she deals with her daily questionings of what to do with her life as a woman). Gossip magazines are too celebrity oriented (though not below me, I admit), so they're still not identifiable enough. I wanted something that sounded like "me".
Of course, this led me to Good Housekeeping (ok, you can laugh now. This sounds so like me. Not). All the home organizing tips are a little over my head, but I have to say, it does inspire me to be a better housekeeper. You know, there's something about seeing glossy pictures of pretty women acting like cleaning their bathroom is the most exciting thing in the world, and it kinda helps my brain accept the idea. Maybe what I like about it too is feeling proud of myself that I have a household and a family to take care of - you know, that feeling that you have grown up. Just taking the initiative to buy this magazine makes me feel like I've already arrived somewhere.
Which brings me to the point of why I want to sue them. Inspired by reading it the night before, I woke up yesterday wanting to become a true competent housekeeper. I used Melissa's naps (which were shorter than usual, by the way - it's like she knows) to sweep and wipe floors, wash dishes, and even do laundry in between. Nothing wrong with that, right? Things that any decent wife and mother should be doing, right?
Well, whether it is or not, it was a BIG MISTAKE. My entire body hurt so bad the end of the day that I felt nauseated. It hurt to turn my body in any direction. And before you call me a wuss, I have been exercising for 20 min. (sometimes 40) daily for a few weeks now! I didn't even do that yesterday, so I couldn't understand why my body was throwing such a fit. I cried, not because I was sad, but in a desperate effort to force it to relax. Isn't it crazy?
So now, there you go body, the house is dirty. And it will remain that way today. I will not have you torture me once again. Good Housekeeping sold me FALSE ADVERTISING that if I cleaned up I'd look like Mariska Hargitay on the cover, but I bet she has people that do it for her. So I'd rather be happy and messy, than clean and miserable, thank you very much.