Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I Sue You, "Good Housekeeping"!!!

<- She looks tired...

I'm in between personalities right now. I used to be a faithful reader of Glamour (the only magazine I could find for 20-somethings that doesn't presume we're perverts), even had a subscription for awhile. Then, I became a mom, and suddenly articles about how to better party with your girlfriends seemed kinda unrealistic to me. I still have fun with my girlfriends, don't get me wrong - we just talk more about our babies' poop than about what's "in" on fashion these days.

So there I went, in search for a magazine that better suited my new point of view... "Parents" comes close, but fails for 2 reasons; one, it talks more about dealing with older kids, and not so much about babies (though you can still find some good info); and two, it's just about parenthood. Which is great and necessary and well put together and all, but most of the time, when I want to read a magazine, I want to remember who I am besides a parent. I want to think of lip gloss. Of my daily questionings of what to do with my life as a woman. Of some celebrity I'm curious about (and how she deals with her daily questionings of what to do with her life as a woman). Gossip magazines are too celebrity oriented (though not below me, I admit), so they're still not identifiable enough. I wanted something that sounded like "me".

Of course, this led me to Good Housekeeping (ok, you can laugh now. This sounds so like me. Not). All the home organizing tips are a little over my head, but I have to say, it does inspire me to be a better housekeeper. You know, there's something about seeing glossy pictures of pretty women acting like cleaning their bathroom is the most exciting thing in the world, and it kinda helps my brain accept the idea. Maybe what I like about it too is feeling proud of myself that I have a household and a family to take care of - you know, that feeling that you have grown up. Just taking the initiative to buy this magazine makes me feel like I've already arrived somewhere.

Which brings me to the point of why I want to sue them. Inspired by reading it the night before, I woke up yesterday wanting to become a true competent housekeeper. I used Melissa's naps (which were shorter than usual, by the way - it's like she knows) to sweep and wipe floors, wash dishes, and even do laundry in between. Nothing wrong with that, right? Things that any decent wife and mother should be doing, right?

Well, whether it is or not, it was a BIG MISTAKE. My entire body hurt so bad the end of the day that I felt nauseated. It hurt to turn my body in any direction. And before you call me a wuss, I have been exercising for 20 min. (sometimes 40) daily for a few weeks now! I didn't even do that yesterday, so I couldn't understand why my body was throwing such a fit. I cried, not because I was sad, but in a desperate effort to force it to relax. Isn't it crazy?

So now, there you go body, the house is dirty. And it will remain that way today. I will not have you torture me once again. Good Housekeeping sold me FALSE ADVERTISING that if I cleaned up I'd look like Mariska Hargitay on the cover, but I bet she has people that do it for her. So I'd rather be happy and messy, than clean and miserable, thank you very much.

6 comments:

texasprado said...

=) I'm going to have to hide your Good Housekeeping magazines. ... BTW... You, me, and Melissa make a beautiful HOME! =D

djones said...

Hi! I found your blog on the Lady Blogger Tea Party. This was a great post. I feel the same way. The older you get though it doesn't get better. Maybe we should start our own magazine for moms that want kids and lipgloss information. You made me laugh for today. I enjoyed reading the last line the most!

Steph said...

I'm sorry I didn't get back to you on the feed issue. I hope yours is working again.

I couldn't agree more with your magazine thoughts. Although, I loved Cosmo when I was in college - pervy or not. I haven't subscribed to anything in a while. I did get a free sample of Parents and thought the same thing you did. It went over cute picnic recipes and how to handle "problem" behaviors with 10 year olds. I don't even want to think about that stuff right now.

I get baby advice and things from forums online. I get my celebrity gossip from Perez Hilton each day.

I'm not sure what I'm missing. I've read the website for Real Simple and it seemed interesting. Perhaps that's a magazine I could get into - maybe you too?

Welcome said...

Well, Anne, if your husband means the comment he left here, then you are already doing what God called you to do as a wife, mother, and yes, even housekeeper. So, allow me to say what none of us can hear often enough... "GOOD JOB!"

I struggle DAILY with housework. Every week I have a new plan/schedule/inspiration to implement. Along the way, I have found some tips and ideas that really have helped, but I think I'm just doomed to always struggle with keeping everything nice, tidy, and CLEAN.

Being at home with children (and my husband is home a lot, too) really makes housekeeping an absolutely ongoing process. And that is exhausting. The bad news is that the housework is not going to go away. The good news is that we can find joy in knowing that we ARE doing what we can to take care of our home.

I enjoy reading (and re-reading) the book "Queen of the Castle" by Lynn Bowen Walker. It summarizes itself as "Encouragement for the uninspired, domestically challenged or just plain tired homemaker." This book is easy and fun reading, and I'd highly recommend it to you, if you are interested in a book instead of a magazine. If you ever do find (or write) that great magazine you are looking for, be sure to let me know about it! :)

Andrea said...

My favorite line: "Good Housekeeping sold me FALSE ADVERTISING that if I cleaned up I'd look like Mariska Hargitay on the cover..."

Tee-hee :-)

Shanna Brewer said...

Anne - such a great post! You had me worried for a minute there trying to be supermom/superwife/superwoman!
Simple Magazine has a couple different versions. I like the standard one because they give you great stuff about cosmetics, clothes, and organizing your home. Good recipes too. There is a family one, but I don't think it focuses too much on babies. Check it out and let me know what you think!

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