When I was pregnant, I dreamed more of the interaction with her than with holding a baby. From the first moment, I couldn't wait till she'd grow so we could chat. I hear some moms get sad about their kid's 1st birthday, a little nostalgic of when they were smaller, but not me. I'm SO excited she's growing. I've even laughed out of joy by myself because of it. That is in the midst of sleep deprivation and back pain for chasing a crawler. Yes, my body suffers, but I'm so ecstatic that her head looks bigger than it did yesterday that it seriously makes up for everything.
Maybe it's the fact that she understands me more, and vice versa. Or that now she can eat whatever I'm eating, and that means I don't have to splatter baby food all over both of us. Or maybe that we're closer to getting pedicures together. I try to reason my sudden giddiness when I'm by myself, but I still can't pinpoint why. But then again, it might also be that I'm finally by myself.