Emotional Birthday Weekend

The last post made it sound like I've been just jumping up and down lately, which I have not. First of all, I've been too heavy and uncomfortable to even walk fast, let alone jump lol. And second, even when life's good, it's never ever perfect.

For starters, last Thursday we went to our much much anticipated 4D ultrasound. We couldn't believe we'd have this opportunity, but in our clinic there were posters with gorgeous pictures saying that established patients (like myself) would be offered one. And while that's cool, they should've clarified that this doesn't mean a 4D ultrasound service - like in specialized places, where you get a CD with pictures and more than an instant with an impatient (therefore RUDE) technician. Besides barely speaking to us throughout the process (you know, the whole 5 minutes tops of it), she handed us a couple of very undefined pictures. When I gathered up the courage to ask if she could try again, she barked "already did!", and then started to talk about how my fluid was low (you know, such a soothing conversation for what's supposed to be a nice moment). I understand this can mess up an ultrasound, but I would've expected her to give it more than a single try, you know?? Like, she acted as if this was just a functional thing (that needed to be done as quick as possible), and not an important family event like it meant for us. 

Now adding the fact that I'd counted the days for this for 3 weeks (since they told us it'd happen), and even made a big deal of it here, on Facebook and on the phone with my family that lives all the way in Brazil, AND considered this to be a big part of my birthday celebration, disappointment doesn't even cover how I felt. I literally mourned over this for a couple of days. Because it wasn't just that - part of the reason why I felt so sad for not being able to share this online is that I don't really have that many people around me to share the joys of my pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, hubby's family's wonderful and so worth the move to TX, but in these major life milestones, I really wish my own family could be here too. Besides, as a stay at home mom, I haven't really had many opportunities to make friends. So sadly, online (or over the phone) is where I do most of my connecting with people. That doesn't bother me all the time since the kids keep me busy, but this was important, you know?? Especially being our (most likely) last pregnancy. 

Anyway. I'm sure hormones also played a part in my emotions, but this weekend I just felt too out of it to blog. Still, God was faithful and had already provided that hubby would take a few days off work (that he arranged so we could make some progress in preparing for Holly). That helped a LOT. I  also wondered why he kept telling me to drink water, and noticed him trying to hide taking a phone call. But the 2 things never connected in my mind until he told me he'd scheduled another 4D ultrasound as a surprise!! :) This time in one of those places who REALLY makes it special. I was ecstatic, although still afraid to get my hopes up again. 

Thank God, it worked wonderfully! I guess at the clinic not only the tech was bad, but their equipment must've not been great either. Because I doubt a couple of days would've increased my fluid THAT much! Maybe just having a patient, sympathetic person do it makes all the difference. It's a family business and they have 7 kids themselves, so that means they get how important this is to families. The environment couldn't have been more inviting - ultrasound projected on a big screen, spacious room with several chairs, toys on the floor for the kids, and even ambiance music! The technician not only was personable and funny but even had a pleasant voice (which worked great on the recording of the ENTIRE 20 minute ultrasound they emailed us later). And while I know my fluid level isn't the best it can be, not once was a comment made about it. They might've if the ultrasound was impossible, but since it worked well enough, nobody said anything on how much clearer it could've been (which I appreciated). Afterwards, they even took a picture of us! Here it is:

Wish I'd known this was coming, so I'd wear something less casual (and have extra hair product :).

Holly's pictures are in a CD, but the downside of having a super thin computer is that I don't have a CD drive. So we'll have to wait till we can go save it somewhere else. Meanwhile, I took some shots with my camera of the ones they printed on a page (which still look a thousand times better than the 1st ultrasound ones, even though they're pictures of pictures):

 With hand on her face

 Cute profile

 About to smile on this one!

 Reminds me of when Melissa was born and had this "kissy" face on every picture

Looking as much as a happy, sunny girl as we imagine her :)

Like twins separated by almost 4 years :)