Wednesday, October 5, 2011

New/Future Moms of 2 Are People Too!

<- Melissa's already abusing her little brother :).

I'm appalled at the lack of literature/material available for 2nd time mothers. It's as if they assume that having done it once, you must be a master on the subject and have no need of extra assurance/information/commiseration. HA! I so wish that was true. Come to think of it, not completely - I do enjoy diving through magazines/books in a way to help me celebrate and process the fact that I'm about to give birth. Again. Knowing exactly how wonderful - and overwhelming - it is.

I wish pregnancy magazines talked about what to do with a baby AND a toddler, instead of just what to do with a bby period. And about how do you "get all the sleep you can" when said toddler will not respect your pregnanthood. Like, how do you eat small frequent meals when there's a little person chasing you, who needs to avoid grazing?? And by the way, it would be nice to see pictures of women who actually look pregnant. C'mon, there's gotta be plenty of gorgeous model-like moms out there who don't look like they're wearing a fake belly over teir skinniness. Show me someone real pretty with an occasional double chin and I'll be your lifelong subscriber! :)

I like to joke that my fantasy is going to some sort of "pregnancy retreat" - a place where all I'm required to do is sit and be pregnant. It just seems like there's so much needing my attention (Melissa, transitioning to a different place, etc) that I end up having little time to just feel pregnant. I mean, don't get me wrong, I feel it all the time, but can't give myself the luxury to act accordingly. Not always at least - when I'm resting, my mind still races, going through lists of what to do, and wondering if I'm giving Melissa enough attention. Because, you know, soon she'll really have to share me. This realization makes me feel more attached to her, but at the same time, my growing belly (with all its growing discomforts) keeps me from playing with her as much as before.

See what I'm saying?? Being pregnant for the 2nd time might not have the same "I don't know if I can be a mom" fears of the 1st, but it still brings a whole different set of issues. Of course it also has its own wonders - Melissa's a cute distraction from my pregnant woes, and seeing how beautifully she's growing makes me excited to see what other little person we came up with. And I just CAN'T wait to see her as a big sister. She already loves her "I'm a big sister" book - where the characters amazingly look like us (curly redish-haired mom, and dark straight haired dad and girl). You know, I used to imagine her just like this before she was born. Now I imagine Andrew (that's the name, btw! :) with curly hair. Can't wait to see if my prophecy will come true again lol.

Okay, I'm rambling now - see how I need extra entertainment to divert myself?? Doctors and specialists, please look down on us, 2nd time mommies. We need stuff to read too. Please don't assume every expectant person has all the time in the world to enjoy each moment of belly grownth! Some of us have done it before, but would like to feel special too. You know, as if we could stop everything and just be pregnant for a bit.


Luysa Freitas said...

Anne, imagino como seus pensamentos devem estar. Acredito que a criação que Melissa está tendo é a melhor possível, e ela está crescendo e se tornando uma mocinha linda. A "irmã mais velha", mais linda e mais fofa que o Andrew vai ter!! Imagino a confusão que deve ser estar colocando tudo em ordem na casa nova, ter acabado de retornar da viagem ao Brasil, organizar o quartinho novo da Melissa, o enxoval e o quartinho do bebê... porque nessa etapa realmente será um recomeço... rs terá que comprar agora tudo de menino!! rs é muita coisa para uma pessoa só mesmo! Mas, no meio desse turbilhão, não se esqueça dos posts heim!! adoro ler! acho tudo lindo!

Betsy St. Amant said...

You're doing great!! :) You make some really good points though. lol I will be there one day. Then I'll come to you!

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