I haven't been updating this blog nearly as much as I used to. I used to itch to post something everyday, and sometimes I'd get 2 ideas a day and have a hard time choosing one. That was before Melissa started walking. And once upon a time when she actually wanted to take naps. I could rock her to sleep (and I thought that was hard - it's harder when I rock her and she just won't sleep!! :), or she would be content playing in either the living/dining room or the kitchen - and not demand the entire house.
So these are the stages I've gone through with her new independence:
1. Denial
Uh, walking, my baby?? No, no, no, she's just dancing and moving around. But she won't go far. I mean, how far can she go, right?
2. Panic
Where's the baby?? Oh my goodness, how did you get here?? Now, give me this. No. NO. You used to hear me the first time. Now you think it's funny. No, don't eat that. Got it, all gone. Oh great, now you're sobbing. Weren't you just laughing at me?
3.Chaos
Hi honey, how was your day at work? Careful with that area of the carpet, Melissa just puked there. And you better not hug me either, let me change first. If you take away some toys/cheerios/paper towel shreds/etc, you might find a place to sit. Or maybe we should eat out tonight.
4.Depression and Confusion
I don't understand. I thought I'd learned how to be a mother by now. I had a system. Melissa used to respond to my system. She wouldn't talk back at me through wails. I used to have time to clean her, feed her, clean myself, feed myself and keep our place livable. Or at least better than this. I want to move.
5.The Future
Someone tell me what comes after stage 4, 'cause I'm still wondering. Maybe it's acceptance.
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