Monday, October 7, 2013

My Life as a Mom of 3

It's not so bad, really. Except on the first days. Then it could be pretty often - not bad bad, just "what-on-earth-am-I-supposed-to-do-now, and when-do-I-EVER-get-to-sleep" bad. I was happy, but still longed for a sense of normalcy (as explained on my last zombie-like post).

Now, I'm happy to report that YES, I do feel normal again. I feel like me, just much busier. It seems like every time you have a baby, it takes awhile for your brain to catch up. I'd talk to people but felt distant, like my mind still couldn't quite process the new life yet. So in order to mentally land on mommy-of-3 world, I tried a few things:CHOCOLATE                                                                                                                            That's right - my first impulse was to medicate myself with loads of sugar. In the first weeks, my stomach still felt queasy with most foods (taking a baby out AND tying my tubes must've messed things up a bit), so for awhile, Cadbury bars became my main source of sustenance. I knew I was still supposed to look pregnant, so didn't care much about calories. It only started bothering me when I was looking more and MORE pregnant. That's when I realized I'd have to not only stop the madness, but also figure out a whole new daily menu (because almost everything I liked while pregnant I now loathed). Sigh. As if I didn't already have to eat so many meals with a baby sucking liquid off of me (which can really ruin your appetite). 

Before you imagine me in a gym doing sit ups or anything that sophisticated, think more along the lines of me in sleep wear in front of the TV desperately trying to follow a hip hip workout DVD for 10 minutes. I mean, I feel like I'm doing a great job! :) But I'm also glad no one's there to see me. Of course it's always a challenge to find the time to do it, but when I do, it's awesome. Even if I'm not doing it right, I have fun acting like I'm some gangsta chick who wins back alley fights lol. It totally gives me more confidence to face the next blowout diaper.

At 6 months pregnant, I started writing for RgVision, a local magazine about businesses in the area. Close to the due date, I had to take a break, and my editor asked me to let him know whenever I was ready to return. Once Holly started sleeping better (waking up once or twice a night as opposed to every. freaking. hour.), I really missed it, but felt SO afraid to get back to it. What if I couldn't handle it now? But the more time passed, the more I realized I needed an outlet to think of something other than child/home care. And yes, while it is often stressful trying to find moments to type, it's made a HUGE difference for me to settle into 3-kids motherhood. Turns out sometimes our minds just need a moment for itself so that it'll have enough to give to our little people :).

That's a big one, that's why I left it for last - even though it was the first thing, before and in between those other remedies. For sure God's the one who's helped me navigate through my bad eating habits and overwhelmed days. I'd imagined that only time would've cured my baby blues, but He helped me realize there were things I could - and SHOULD - do. Like finding myself in the midst of child-rearing chaos. Who would've known; He remembers me, and not just my children! For Him, I'm not just a milking cow/house cleaner/toddler fights referee. He sees ME, and takes full credit for me slowly-but-surely getting my groove back.


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