Don't Talk To Me, I'm Sleep Deprived

<- My little smiling burrito.

If you've tried to start (and/or finish) a productive conversation with me in the last few days, I apologize. My body was with you, however, my spirit remained in bed, under the covers, right before kids started screaming and poopy diapers started exploding.

I'm so not exaggerating. The amount of bodily fluids I have to deal with on a daily basis is unbelievable. Screams too, as both my kids want my FULL attention 100% of the time, and when they don't get it, they usually make some loud noise. So I have to choose which wail I'd rather deal with at the moment.

But yes, there is hope - if there wasn't, I wouldn't be here writing this blog. That alone shows that every once in awhile, the Lord sends an angel to quiet each child and peace reigneth in this house once again. Right now, Melissa's actually awake, but playing by herself (miracle!), and Andrew's asleep. Heaven.

Even before that though, despite the usual chaos, it's been a pretty good day. The thing I've been learning lately is to adjust my expectations. I'd been having a hard time enjoying being a mom of two, and feeling like every. Single. Day. A disaster happened, but lately I've been learning that these are not disasters. My little (okay, plenty of) flustered moments are just the way things are right now. Which means that yes, both kids will most likely have simultaneous immediate needs several times a day. And no, neither of them will like being the one who gets to wait. And no, pretty often each need will not be a "quick fix". How does one keep her sanity in the midst of this, you may ask? I don't know. I don't think I'm one to say lol.

My point is that once I've started not expecting things to be the way they were before Andrew was born, I've become freer to enjoy the way they are. Like, now I have a cute little guy looking up at me as if I'm the eight wonder of the world. It's funny, he seems to pick the moments I'm the most frustrated to flash me a big smile. As if saying, "hey mom, I might be killing you right now, but I'm having a great time!" :) And there's nothing more endearing than that.

Chaos...I Give In

<- Notice the look of horror on Andrew's face, antecipating Melissa's "tough love." :)


Shhhhhh. Melissa's sleeping (can you hear the Hallelujah chorus?) and Andrew's awake but currently not calling for me, so I'm gonna use this moment to blog.

It's funny that I wait so much to have me-time like this, and when I do, I'm too paranoid about it ending to fully enjoy it. So I always end up doing one (or more) of the following:

- eat a humongous amount of chocolate, for the simple fact that I can, but forgetting to stop long enough to enjoy it (break might end at any second!);

- watch silent TV with captions on (which can give you a headache fast if you're sleep deprived);

- clean something (then hate myself for not resting on the only moment of the day when there wasn't a kid attached to me);

- go on facebook and envy all those people out there who have lives outside of poopy diapers, breastmilk spills and yelling toddlers.

Speaking of toddler, Melissa's the sweetest of them all, but also possibly the loudest. Hubby and I joke that she only has 3 volumes - high, higher and HIGHEST; there's no "middle" or "low". I can tell Andrew's fascinated with her, but slightly freaked out when she tries to hug him or squeeze his hands/feet/head. She can really agitate him, and when I finally manage to calm him down, she seems to feel the need to fill in the silence by going, "HI BABY! AWWWW SO SWEET! WHAT ARE YOU DOING MOMMY? BABY'S SLEEPING!" Um, well, not anymore.

Needless to say, at this moment I'm researching birth control options lol. I think the pill made me bloated and emotional (more so than normal :). So now I'm leaning towards using this thing called Paragard (something the doctor inserts in your uterus). Google says it's wonderful to some people but horrible to others, but I do like the fact that it's hormone free. Anyone out there has any knowledge/opinion on the subject?

I started writing this post this afternoon, and am finishing now at almost 10 at night. Story of my life these days :). But much like life as a mom of 2, slowly I'm getting the hang of it. My mantras now have been don't fight the chaos, expect the chaos, PREPARE for the chaos. So I eat a protein bar at lunchtime knowing lunch might not happen anytime soon, always have wipes nearby for frequent disasters, and try not to see it as failure if both kids happen to be miserable at the same time. According to my month-and-a-half experience in this, a couple of meltdowns are just part of our new regular "routine". And if so, I guess it's been a pretty good day.