How to Survive a 1st Birthday While Pregnant

- Include chocolate. Yes, making the 52 mustache cupcakes for Andrew's party almost did me in. BUT it would've been much harder if they were not chocolate! Especially since I used Kandee Johnson's recipe, which is super moist, light and awesome. 

- Don't Cry. Much. I mean, when the foil balloons you ordered online then fought to have filled out at the local grocery store fly away in the parking lot. Yes, it'll make you feel like sobbing all the way home, but don't! It'll ruin your make up, and there are pictures on the way. Plus, you'll be driving, and the best gift for your child is a live mommy :). 

- Let people hold the birthday boy. Part of my mom-guilt during the party is that I felt like I should've been playing with him the whole time. But honestly, after baking all day, and then having a frustrated grocery shopping experience, I felt SO thankful for family members who just took him over. Special thanks to grandpa, his favorite person in the world (Andrew never wants me when he's around - except when crying broken hearted when he thought grandpa was telling him "no" lol)

- Post pictures on Facebook. I know you're tired and the last thing you want to do is sit in front of the computer, but do it. In pictures, your day will look flawless, like your feet don't hurt from all the standing and you didn't make twice as many cupcakes as you needed to (and could've saved much energy/sanity). No, there you'll only see the adorableness of your child tasting his first cupcake, and the proof that you've reached the milestone of now having a boy instead of a baby.

So maybe it's ok to cry, just a little :).

Preggo With My 3rd for the 1st Time :)

11 weeks micro-bump 


Yes, people of the world who didn't know it yet, it's true: baby #3 is coming up! And it's coming with a vengeance lol - lots of nausea, exhaustion, and all that good stuff. Means he/she's a good one, 'cause he/she's a LOT of work to make!

What's funny about being pregnant for the 3rd time is that everyone reacts to it differently than your 1st. Sometimes it's not even much of a reaction, but more of a knowing nod, as if they already know you produce babies lol. No news here :).

I myself always thought that, by the time I'd expect my 3rd, I'd be such a pro that I wouldn't be as emotional about it as my first two. WRONG. I'm a mush ball, maybe even bigger than before. Now there's 3 reasons for me to tear up! And another surprising thing is that it truly does not feel any different excitement-wise than the other ones. Hence my title - it might be my 3rd, but with this one, I'm pregnant for the very 1st time!

So let me count the ways that it's easier this time around:

- No Fear of Labor

  Talking about it actually gets me excited! Which was NOT the case ever before. Now, my body's like, if I hadn't died from it twice, bring it on! :) I just can't wait to try things I haven't before, and am more curious about how it'll turn out (since my first 2 were so different) than afraid of it.

- No Need for Baby Shower

  With my first, I agonized over the possibility of no one throwing me one. With my 2nd, less so, since I wasn't even sure I'd be allowed to have it, but still hoped I would (not for gifts but for celebrating-baby purposes). Now, it's SO good to honestly not even have it cross my brain! I feel so been there/done that about the whole thing. Celebrating with a prenatal massage when I'm big and miserable sounds just fine.

- Not As Much Time for Bad Preggo Habits

  Like eating junk food (can't afford to lie on the couch afterwards in an eternal sugar crash - have kids to chase!) or just plain feel sorry for myself. Whenever I lower my head in defeat, my oldest nudges me and says: "Are you happy, mommy? I think you need to go to the dobtor!" (yes, with a "B") And then I can't help but smile :).

Now, not all is perfect... Here's my list of things that are a lot harder this time around:

- Processing The Pregnancy

  It's not just lack of time that's against you. It's also people's perception, who already see you as a mom and don't baby you as much anymore. It's your husband who's got his hands full with 2 little ones (which is nice enough of him) and therefore, no hands left to massage you. With all the noise in the house, it feels like every wail is responded to, except the one from the poor mother who just needs one freaking day off....you get the picture. 

- Avoiding Strenuous Activity? What's That?

  If I had a dollar for every time I heard this from a nurse AND could comply to it, I wouldn't have any dollars :). It's amazing that it doesn't matter how many times I explain to them that I have 2 children who cannot grasp such concept, they still tell me not to "lift heavy stuff", or call them if it hurts real bad. Ha. When you have 2 1/2 kids, you gotta work through the pain, sistah. 

- Finding (New) Pregnancy Material To Read

  Why does everything have to be from the never-gone-through-this point of view? What about the rest of us, who have a whole new set of challenges now? Don't our bodies change differently? We could also use advice about how to re-adapt to new family dynamics. Should't there be a book called "Ooops, I Did It Again" or something?

I don't mean to be a downer - I AM super excited about this child. Imagine that! It seems like every blog post I read on the subject talks about how panicked they were to have a THIRD (oh the horror), as if more than 2 was just for the procreating-obsessed people lol. Which I think is SO unfair! And which is also the reason why I decided to blog regularly throughout this pregnancy, just like it's my 1st. I'm as thrilled about it as I was then, or maybe even more, since now I know I can go through heavy-duty motherhood and live to tell the story. Will it be hard? I have no doubt. But instead of dreading, I actually feel proud of myself for making more adorableness, and for our family to have come this far.

The (Other) Unmentionables (or why I've been MIA)

No, I don't mean underwear :). I mean stuff that you don't usually tell people - even when they insist to know how you're doing, they don't really WANT to hear: "well, wondering if I still smell like the poop I just cleaned".

Or like when I'd just had Andrew, and everyone kept asking me how it was like to have 2 kids with HUGE smiles on their faces. And I mean, I love it now, but back then? Sleeping 3 hours a night? Having a few breakdowns a day? I was still getting the hang of it. So it annoyed me that people seemed to expect me to reply that things were just peachy.

So this introduction is to apologize for not blogging much in the last few days (or months) - I just haven't felt like my motherhood sounded interesting enough. Which is silly, I know, since I love reading about everyone else's motherhoods. But as I've gotten more and more used to my stay-at-home mommy life, 2 things have happened:

1- I've enjoyed it more, since multitasking is now more second-nature;

2- But I've also had less new things to say about it (I was pretty sure I'd already written all my deep thoughts on housekeeping or raising children ).

And I know this is me overthinking this blog, but I'm here to assure you, things WILL change. There ARE more regular posts coming up, horray! :) Just bear with me for a sec. Like I said earlier, a few details of everyday life just aren't too easy for me to mention. Or necessary. Or timely (like NOW I talk about the hard first days of having 2 children, since they're behind me). 

Anyway. Stay tuned for more posts from this mommy who isn't bored at ALL!! (still kicking myself for picking that title - I just happened to be bored the moment I signed up lol :)

Why I Love My Kids Differently

Yes, I do love my kids in different ways. I DON'T mean with different intensities - my obsession over them is so equal that I often feel overwhelmed with caring so much for 2 little people that I have no control over. Having the 2nd kid is experiencing the exact same wonder-excitement-worry-panic-anger-enormous love you feel with the first one, all over again. Which means your life can be either twice as wonderful or twice as painful, depending on the day lol.

What I'm talking about today isn't child preference, but a simple realization that my kids are different and need to be treated as such. I'm beginning to see more and more that they don't need the same things from me. Not only because of the age difference; their personalities also make them show and receive love in their own ways.

When Andrew wants attention, he tries to make me laugh. He nods pretending to sneeze, claps or blows raspberries. What he wants from me is much more interaction than a hug. Of course he wants to be held as much as the next baby, but he's not nearly as touchy-feely as Melissa. She's ALWAYS loved kisses. As a baby, when we'd kiss her cheek, she'd lean over, as if asking for more. Andrew's okay with it, but after a few seconds his little hand pushes my face away, as if saying, "enough, mommy" :).

This works out great since while Melissa's demanding the 100th hug of the day, I can be making faces at him while he's at his exersaucer, and often that's enough to make him happy. That is, of course, if he's just had his fair share of being fed/carried, but I think he's much less clingy than Melissa was. I see more displays of jealousy from him when I'm playing with Melissa than when I'm hugging her.

So here's my prediction of the future: Andrew will be an outdoorsy, manly guy, who isn't as sentimental as his sister, but will love a good laugh (I promise you, he was laughing ever since he was only a few days old - didn't think it was possible! :). My way of showing love to him will be quality time - maybe being there for his games, or just cracking up at his stories. I so look forward to loving him more and more that way.

Now sweet & sensitive Melissa needs to both hear and feel (physically) that she's loved. I anticipate lots of make-up playing (she already loves my brushes), spa trips and heart-to-heart talks about some cute guys or mean girls. With her, I know I need to validate her emotions before I can get a response. "Stop screaming" doesn't work as much as "I know you're upset, but you can be quiet now, it's okay" (followed by a hug).

Before getting pregnant with Andrew, I did worry about not being able to love another child as much as the first one. If you're going through this now, don't let it stop you from taking the plunge (if that's the only reason). Yes, is it a LOT of work, but it doesn't make it any less wonderful to love twice.

How to Be a Frumpy Mommy

I have LOTS of experience.

Just to be clear, this is a post of what NOT to do. Unless you're tired of being so glamorous and would like your mommy-look to evoke more compassion from others. For that, I don't blame you - people are much less likely to help if it seems like you've got it all together.

So, even if you do, you can forever look like you don't in these easy steps:

Wear the shirt you slept in last night. Hey, that's one thing off the list to get out of the house (getting dressed). Now, if you're staying in, WHY would you go and use up another shirt?? Do you ENJOY doing laundry??

Only do your make-up minutes before daddy's supposed to come home. He'll think you were that dolled-up all day. BUT you'll have effectively scared the salesperson who knocked on your door. Win-win.

Never wear something that can't be chewed. Save those silky/sheer stuff for when you're baby-free (like, almost never).

Flats are your friends. And so are ponytail holders. Which brings us to...

Have baby-friendly hair. None of that curls-falling-in-your-face kind of style. Save that for a date night. At home, the less hair available for tiny hands, the better.

ALL of this will be forgiven IF:

You maintain yourself odor-free. Brushing your teeth and putting deodorant on before starting your day is much like putting the oxygen mask on first before helping your child. People can complain about your messy looks, but never about your smell.

You're decent. The mailman doesn't need to see a model any more than he needs to see your boob. So, if you're nursing, watch the cleavage.

You're happy. It sounds corny, I know, but wearing a smile is the best way to look nice. Think about it: what's more pleasant, a grumpy dressed-up woman or a frumpy - but joyful - mom?

So You Want to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom

Those are some pretty big slippers to fill. 

I once read a magazine article that made me feel like a rock star. It was about a mom who'd been laid off from her office job and was finding staying at home to be much more difficult. Take THAT, Hilary Rosen!

Truth is, though, that I've been a stay-at-home mom for so long (ever since, uh, I became a mom) that I don't even feel like such a martyr anymore. Maybe for the simple fact that I've never been a working mom, so I wouldn't know how it's like. I will tell you, though, that staying at home is not any easier. I think that the longer you've been doing what you're doing, the harder it'll be to transition to something else. And THAT might give you the impression that staying at home is torture compared to the routine you had before.

In reality, it's not. You're just not used to it. At first, it's odd having to depend on a little person's schedule all day in order to do the simplest things - like pee or eat. Specially in the first days, you do crave adult interaction. But like with everything in life, eventually your body - and mind - adjusts.

So here's a little handy-dandy list I've come up with to help any working mom out there who's about to take the plunge:

The Art of Waking Up
We stay-at-home moms need to be organized for their own sake, because there's no boss telling us we're late for anything. Only the kid(s) crying, and threatening to keep us from doing ANYTHING for ourselves. Here's the trick - DON'T let them. Do what you have to in the morning (pee, brush teeth); he/she will not die from crying just a minute more. 

Fear Not, Nap Time Is Near
When the day gets really, really, REALLY tough, here's what it means - the baby/child needs a nap. Kids don't understand how they feel like adults do, so when they're exhausted, they just think the world sucks (actually, not so different from adults lol). So if it's been at least 3 hours since he/she woke up, and they've become impossible to deal with, put them in bed/crib and don't look back. Even if they refuse to sleep, at least YOU have the right to remain silent for awhile.

Embrace The New Phase
With every transition there is mourning, because as wonderful as it is, it's also a death of what it used to be. So don't feel bad for missing your more carefree days. At the same time, try to remember the honorable position you're in. Yes, it might feel daunting, but what new thing isn't? While you're worried about whatever image of perfect stay-at-home mom you have, you're becoming your own version of it. Every metamorphosis is uncomfortable and confusing, until all of a sudden, you start to soar.

And I Thought I Had This "Having 2 Kids" Thing Down...

...but I meant the kids I had last month. Who are these crazies today??

Don't get me wrong: I have the 2 best kids in the world. Andrew's a super mellow baby, sleeping through the night and everything. Melissa's as sweet as can be - she loves to hug, kiss, say "I love you", and even has no trouble saying "I'm sorry" when she does something wrong. Sounds like perfection, right? Well, let me tell you, life with 2 kids is NEVER perfection. 

My day starts with Andrew screaming in the monitor, and by the time I'm going up the stairs, I can hear Melissa having a breakdown also. I don't know why both kids have to wake up like life's ending and they're gonna be left there forever, but that's how it goes. Oh, and meanwhile, the dog is howling too, demanding food, freedom, and, most of all, ATTENTION. 

So the plan of attack is: feed dog. Go upstairs, grab bigger kid, sit her on the potty with a toothbrush in her mouth, grab baby next door, find a way to assist Melissa out of the bathroom while a VERY hungry baby wiggles in my arms, go down the stairs without dropping anyone, grab some easy snack for Melissa, tell her for the millionth time she can drink water on her own (she's been asking for us to give it to her like a baby), sit down at the couch, nurse Andrew, change him, give him some love (all the while Melissa's munching and/or torturing the dog), and then stick him into his bouncer. 

JUST THEN I can start to think about getting my own breakfast, careful not to make any brisk moves in order not to remind Andrew of my existence. And as I'm trying to fix myself something, Melissa's whining about the snack that's gone/the dog that bites/her leg that's itchy/the list is endless...

Tired yet? Well, I'm not even mentioning the little "diversions" in between, like cleaning up as I go, laundry and Melissa's latest habit of NEEDING a hug whenever I pick up the baby, or NEEDING to go to the bathroom (even if she just did) whenever I give Andrew any sort of attention, or NEEDING period. Seriously, sometimes she doesn't even know what to ask for, but wants to whine just because. She goes, "I need, I need, I need," and stops, because she doesn't even know what else to say. 

Andrew's growing up too (and NEEDING more too lol). If I'm having fun with Melissa, he makes the cutest I'm-feeling-left-out face and fake-cries to me. I remember what it was like to be the youngest sibling and feel like everyone's having fun without you, so I grab him and end up sandwiched between them both. Then, Andrew pulls Melissa's hair/kicks her/annoys her somehow, Andrew decides he's not in nursing position enough, and we're back to square one. It's very, very rarely that I can make us ALL (including me) happy at the same time.

My point with this post isn't to bore you to death, but to explain to the world why this blog has been neglected. Yes, they do nap (THANK GOD), but I've been working on other writing projects, and just sitting and writing about being a mom (which I already live out so intensely :) has taken a backseat. This isn't the end of this blog though! I still adore it and plan to give it some more attention in a couple of months. But for now, y'all will have to bear with my few spurts of mommy-stress reports here and there.

I do have a couple of started posts that were never completed (on updates on our family, or about being a stay-at-home mom - for working girls contemplating it). Let me know if there are any other topics you'd like to read about! It'll be a good incentive for me to keep coming back. That is, if you still want me to lol.